Gay Marriage Has Made $259 Million for New York City

Gay Marriage Has Made $259 Million for New York City

If New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Council Speaker Christine Quinn’s figures that same-sex marriages brought in some $259 million in economic benefits to the city are correct–that means gay marriages earned the city around $30,000 per hour since they were legalized one year ago. […] But like you, we were wondering what “economic benefits” really means.

Snort. Well actually, I was not wondering that at all. Only in America might this be a relevant consideration or even news. It couldn’t just, you know, be the right thing to do by one’s fellow human beings…

Libya and Iraq, Quite a Difference

Both messy, but differently so.

With Iraq, I didn’t think the foreign invasion was a good idea. The Iraqis would have got rid of Hussein when they were ready. Yes, that might have been quite a while and lots of suffering later, but it would’ve also meant that the mindset inside Iraq would’ve been ready for the changes it would bring. And then, Hussein was a bastard, but he was “their bastard” – having foreigners sort out your mess is not good for self esteem, particularly when it’s primarily pushy belligerent Americans leading the charge. For some additional context, see this article on the role of Christian religion in the US military: http://www.care2.com/causes/yes-there-are-athiests-in-the-military.html

So now to Libya. In this instance, US, Europe and others decided to not get in on the ground. Air and other forms of support were provided, but the visible main work was done by the locals. And they got rid of Ghadaffi. There are some very nasty aspects to how it all happened, and some of it is still ongoing, but we know how the events in Iraq with the Americans was not really any prettier. The Libyans, starting in Benghazi, were ready for change, and they created it. That makes the future much easier to deal with, because it’ll flow on naturally from the present events.

With these things in mind, I predict that Libya will be in a much better state than Iraq in a much shorter time. And I’m not talking about economic $ as a measure, nor do I believe that holding elections equates a democracy. No, what we’ll see is the Libyan people feeling empowered and making a new life in their local area, building things the way they want to. It’s not an instant thing, it’ll really take decades to (re)build, but I reckon the results will be positive. All the best to them!

You may wonder what I think of regimes going into neighboring countries. I think that’s quite a different situation. But we also have to realise that many country borders are artificial, in many cases carving traditional areas in half, and also bundling traditionally separate areas together. This is particularly the case in Africa and also in the Middle East. Not surprisingly, these area precisely the areas where we see the most trouble. Historic mistakes come back. I hope we learn from it, otherwise it’ll be repeated again later (Afghanistan is already showing that, with 150 years of different foreign invasions and interference, each time yielding approximately the same result: very little to nothing).

Letter from Her Sovereign Majesty

To the citizens of the United States of America
from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth IIIn light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Both Houses of Congress will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour‘ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut‘ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize‘ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).
  2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u‘ and the elimination of ‘-ize.’
  3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
  4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.
  5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
  6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
  7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
  8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
  9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
  10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
  11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies.)
  12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
  13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
  14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
  15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

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